23 October 2003

this is very very strange. strange because it is two years later and i come back, to a different part of the world, onto a different ship, and yet everything is exactly the same. the ship is different but the same, the smells are the same, the colors are the same, the dentist drill syncopations i can make with my fingernails as i walk down the vinyl walled hall are the same, the tiny sandwiches and ruthless midnight wind and beauty of count basie charts the same. the people are different, technically, but, really the same. the only thing different is me, which is wild- first off, because it has made me realize just how different i am, how much has happened in two years, and then because its like ive been given that famous second chance to do high school all over again. i can fix the past, make it more beautiful and meaningful. so im working it, really trying to savor it, my senses very alert, letting my mind be calmed and body healed.

god barcelona was beatiful. why doesnt everyone make buildings like they are from outer space?

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